Homecoming March

Time was short but the wait was longer
Like a wandering soul I was restless
For the days to Pass and nights to end
It was my home coming, it was my home coming

The familiar streets waited for my arrival
The familiar voices called out my name
The familiar faces were waiting to smile
It was my home coming, It was my home coming

The needle pointed to the direction of my home.
The Winds blew from the place of my own
The birds carried out the message to the Place
It was my Homecoming, It was my homecoming

There are little remains of this place
And every precious hour had to be saved
I knew i had 25 days of March before
It was my homecoming, It was my homecoming

Along the dark carpet a welcoming Aura emanates
A patient month will finally bid its farewell
To the houses and the people I call my own
It is my Homecoming, It is my Homecoming...

Written for the post  Month of the Year Challenge . Cheers!

Lovely February

A gentle smile greeted them
of winning Promises and trust
A Gentle breeze greeted us
of Calm day and a Joyous month

It was a month of love
It was a month of Celebration
It was a month of birthdays
It was the month of february

I remember the Cold mornings
I remember the tender love
I remember my broken hand
I remember those painful stitches

Yet i have a voidness within me
of nostalgia & candied memories
I let myself fall from a height
only to pick myself up again.

There was still a gentle breeze that night
there was still some wine flowing that night
Cheering to the celebrations that night
It was the month of february that night

This is a post for  Month of the Year Challenge . Cheers!

Fresh January

I stayed awake Welcoming the year

With an open Arms and Gloomy eyes

Counting for the year which promised

Long Health and short pains

Yet the Year began with an Hangover

Where there was no regret of yesterday

The previous night was a celebration of Victory

Of survival, of new friends and new Place

The days here were Long and Hot

The winds here were Strong and Fierce

The lights here were dark and Gloomy

The people here were amazing and Good

We went to the beaches of Atlantic

Where fun and anxiety stayed at bay

We drank our hearts out that day

We cheered to friendship and companionship

Yet it was the first month of the Year

It was the beginning of a new start

How i was wrong when i Said

It promised Long health and Short pains.

This is a post for  Month of the Year Challenge   Which I just happen to come upon randomly.

At times Randomness brings you close to something or conspires you to bring out what you have been hiding within yourself. So true in this case.

This randomness did bring out some emotions of Joy and Self-Discovery that I can easily say has been the best time of my life. Looking forward for writing about the other months too. 

A Melancholy Cry

The feelings of Love in my Heart was over

I threw it off thinking it’s a Poisoned fruit

I poured graffiti on the walls of my temple of devotion

Smashed the window to escape from the Shelter of my love.

A feeling of loneliness replaced the feeling of being together

The noises from my Present replaced the harmony in my past

The lifeless plant on a pot replaced the Roses, which I once gardened

Two glasses of fine Scotch replaced the Romantic setting of French Wines

I have forgotten the feeling of your hands

I have forgotten how your lips feel on mine

I have forgotten how your happy voice sounds

I have forgotten the way you have loved me

In the Voidness of my life I feel your presence

But there is a doubtful Space, which empties itself

I see you drowning into an Ocean and pull you out

Just to see if your heart still beats for me

The time spent were a lot more fun with you around

We dreamed up a Lovely house by the Lakeside

Of Nuptial vows and spending the winters cuddled

Next thing I know you’ll say you want a Baby.

There is always an Image in the Solitary mirror of heart

Hiding within itself every untold emotions and feelings

Igniting a stove in our world that burns without feelings

And a final kiss to the Matchstick that burnt our dream down.

                                                                                                 

The Last Kill: Part 2

                                                        Character Identification: Allen

"Even the Bravest of men with tough arm have a soft heart". For Allen it was always extremes when it comes to living his life. A life devoid of love and filled with Pain for he knew that soon a day would come where he would sacrifice this hardships for a beautiful tomorrow. He just wished when that happens the time freezes instantly so that he could live his hard years completely again in a more beautiful way.

But then even the bravest Soldiers with a heart of a lion will be paralysed by fear. A fear so vivid, so radiant that it would shape the future of his life.

 ALLEN: SOME TIME BEFORE......

Surrounded by a Beautiful valley of Mountains, Rivers and some amazing Flowers stood Allen a Lt. Colonel then in awe of beauty and Pride of being given an Opportunity to serve his country. He had withstand many hardships many Failures to reach this phase of life where he could have been contended with what life had given him.

Whenever he would get a chance he would start writing about his experiences in a Diary. A diary filled with his secrets and Darkness of Youth which he did not want to be remembered again. 

Excerpt from Diary...Page 3

"As a child I would often believe in fairy tales. Those stories which i grew up listening would somehow not fall in the correct place. I would listen to ma talking of an old rip van winkle that would sleep for as long as 20 yrs in some old days. How I wish I could have slept throughout those 20 yrs of my early days. Something I would have surely been happy of. But life teaches lessons of its own and sometimes the simple lessons of life would come from miseries and pain.
My mother was never afraid of the afterlife. Of what is death after all? Where the soul leaves the weak body so that it doesn’t endure the suffering. But all she was afraid of was the death which was imminent because of her lifelong of family sufferings which she have seen throughout her life. Her brother died of some cancer some decades ago, probably the time when the cure for the disease was not found and also the death of my father was before her. She would often hold me tight whenever I was to go away from her. Be it the school days where she would hold me tightly in her arms and would often talk about distinct possibility of not seeing her again or of those tiring long nights where she would often be awake ensuring I slept in peace which i thought was just to express her unconditional love."   

ALLEN: PRESENT DAY!

Today Allen is a wanted criminal accused of Murdering his Brigadier,  bombing his own Squad of Soldiers and now a Killer who has this one last task to do to clear his name from all records. 

The Last Kill -- Part 1

Am I alive???

These were the first thoughts when Allen woke up from his sleep. He laid on a bed and his mind was continuously racing with the reality. Was it the dream or a dark distinct Reality? He started to observe the surroundings now thinking if that could give him an idea of where exactly he was.. Allen He checked on his watch and the time was just 10 mins to 6 in the evening. Everything around him was white. He could see many people around him, everybody Alien. Just a minute observation was sufficient for him to know he was in a Hospital!

Yesterday: 18 hrs Earlier…

“I am not gonna shoot somebody I don’t know”… Allen said in a commanding manner to Charlie whom he met just hrs ago on a train. Charlie was little pleased with the way Allen was behaving to him. You see Charlie taking a life has never been my area of Interest. Charlie almost was amazed by the mere mention of those words. Come on Bro you do feel little upset but you need to remember that Passion is never destroyed. Its just about time everything would be alright, Let me put it this way. Have that kill and the deal shall be finished. You go home a happy man and me I will be contended. with whatever you did, I am definitely not that type of Person who finishes with a Happy ending.

Killing is an art which never grows Old, said my master once Allen. Of all you need to focus on the guy now your subject your main opponent. His name is Peter and he shall be coming by this route tomorrow morning at exactly the same time.  After he finishes his morning work he takes this route to go see his lawyer everyday. Allen just asked out of curiosity. But why a Lawyer? Well my sources close to him says his relationship with his wife has never been nice. Always fighting and he’s sure his wife is cheating on him. So you have your chances when he cross the Ring Road as its always empty and your chances of killing him and running away increases to One- Hundred Percentage. You kill him and come to me I shall be waiting for you in the place where we are standing right now. The Ritchie Street and we shall set the deal which was promised to you. Allen was convinced in the plan which was said to him and he knew he would hit the Jackpot once the work is finished. And all he had to do now was stay calm and finish this one Job which was his doorway to life. He knew this night would be the longest in his life.

Of those Many Little Things

"Past is gone, Present is a gift & future is Uncertain".

I shall put it this way or may be say I am living in now. Pretending that tomorrow's gonna be a better day. Well for starters I do wish at times that tomorrow shall be a day where there's no guilt, no sorrow, no repentance or no grief with my Past. no Grief that what I could do today, no grief of what I could have done in the Past.

There are untold words
Which I need to say
There are beautiful moments
Which I need to replay

There were amazing times
Which I need to rewind
There were some people
Who I wish were kind

There were things
which i needed to Change
There were Friends
Which I wish were never strange

There are memories
Which needs to be erased
There are dreams
Which needs to be chased

There were So many things
Which Is filled with regret
There are so many things
Which I now wanna complete.

O Potato! Where art thou been!

A vivid memory, A lost Vision, A long forlorn thought! Ever since I can think of my childhood, some early part of my teens & as well as my later part i was actually unable to decide why i never ate potatoes, or anything mildly even connected to it! Not that i tasted any time and threw away my dishes declaring to the world hence from now I shall never eat a potato!

The best part of writing is an ability to create a world, a situation or as of now an explanation! This is a article i am writing out of senses, in a semi sleep so do excuse my urge to write about it. As some great men have said it "The Man who has no imagination has no wings"

Sometimes even writing nonsense should be advisable. It awakens those sleepy brain cells which are in a deep limbo of thoughts and have refused to wake up! Fantasies are important too.. Making us look through the wrong end of telescope and laughing at some real hard realities of life.

I could sketch an ocean Blue
Or could paint & faint
I could ring the bell to tell
nothing rhymes with potato

The base the ball
the fiery volcanic ash
The Sun the trees the mighty ocean waves
nothing rhymes with potato

I write about the life
I write about the sonnet
that i listened back the days but
nothing rhymes with potato

There is a clue to the blue
the blow to the show
A lazy to the Crazy but
nothing rhymes with Potato

And then I see a Tomato
Shiny, red and Fresh
I am happy that finally
something rhymes with the Potato!

Swim To Glory!

"HOPE"...... four small words but one big responsibility. If only dreams were an indication of a distant future I would never strive to live again for its the competition and thirst for some certain victory that derives my survival factor...


The light was dull
yet the dream was full
The wait was Long
just like a Good Song.

She seeks her goals
like a predator
She can see her victory in dark
like an owl

This was the day she waited
ever since she believed
This was the moment she saw
in her half conquered dream.

The stage was set
The dream was real
The moment of anxiety
was that to fail...


This small poem dedicated to "Jazz" and hopes she finishes the remaining part of the poetry through her happy words! All the best & yeah on this note HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU..................

In pursuit of life

There are stuffs we do,
Only to mock us;
There are Games we play,
Only to hurt us.

We love with passion & intensity,
& we hate the same way.
We laugh till the eyes are in tears,
& cry with Sadness the same way.
We travel far in pursuit of knowledge,
& yet we are ignorant in a way.

These are the things we do,
to be happy in our lives.
These are the way we fight,
to be good to ourselves.

Where Insomnia is a habit......

This is normalcy...yes, I say that to myself when I am always awake at wee hours of night.. Sometimes I start visualising my future or at times I see flashbacks of my life being proud of some decisions I made while rerouting some. Rarely I come upon a blog to read and which is a first of a kind I am writing one  about it.

Expecting I would write a poetry out of it...I delibrately stare at those skies & stars in the sky. What could I possibly bake into a poem.. Dark Black Skies, Bouncy clouds of cotton or those milky stirred moons. 

Never the less putting up the keys to work & fingers in action.... Starting from this post of mine some time back.

                                           Image Source: google (Photo Credit: Unknown)

                            

  

"I visualize a certain darkness in the room... A certain numbness & then i see a chip of light from a crack which becomes clear & eventually more clear after some time,

Even though i close my eyes, the clarity neither changes, increases nor decreases. It is to stay there like forever & ever.

I move in & out with heavy breathing when the entire galaxy of stars come upon me & its not sleep but a wait,

An unfair observation and those twilight of characters.

and then that fades off eventually, and all I am left with is the space which it occupied

And now I see that chip of light, now making more sense making it vulnerable more physical

Announcing the safety & the comfort of what it is to beckon me with.....

Book Review -- Metroland

Metroland. Julian Barnes by Julian Barnes
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It is Just amazing that how the randomness of a certain event leads us to experience another event in relation to it. I somehow recall first the month of Jan this year where I coincidentally happen to go to a book store due to a power failure. So had the power not failed or had a british reader not recommended the book "The Sense of an ending" or had I did not see the entire work by Julian Barnes the probability of me reading this book would have been minimal.

Julian Barnes in this book tells us the Story of two Boys/Lads/Teenagers/Men through different ages of Life. It's not a story so most of the readers will never say they liked the story but for me its the period of life that worked with me. I absolutely loved reading their Adolescent age but was also equally hooked with Chris Life in Paris. Chris first Sexual experience, His first Love, his first break up leading to his marriage, his conflict with Tony was saddening part of the book & that's where the Writer slowly loses the grip but all's well that end well. The Object Relations at the end of every stage of life was equally enjoyed & gave the book a depth, an inner meaning, an insight of tony on how he looks back at the time that went by.

The book usually worked for me because of the equal combination of Wit & Philosophy. Julian Barnes is one of those authors who knew about the Human Nature early on. Easily this has to be among the best debut novel of a writer. The books works wonders in provoking class, interest and above all provokes thought in every minds and a thought to Ponder!

When the Rains Come down

Hello everyone. people have been wondering and asking me why most of my posts are dark oriented. Well life's never a happy ending times of our lives we seem to give ourselves a reality check. This is the world we live in. Dark, Lively, Happiness, Sad all forms a cycle of life. 

Rains on the other hand always catches my imagination. the clouds are dark above but they bring immense Joy into people's life. Just tried to wrote what came in mind when I see the rains coming down. 

                                                 Captured on a Fine Rainy Afternoon

On a dull Monday Afternoon
the trees Starts moving violently
the breeze is almost fierce
I see the rains coming down.

I see umbrellas everywhere
people running towards shelter
but how I wish I could dance
When the rains come down.

The sky is now almost dark
the roads are almost flooded
the surroundings is getting cooler
When the rains come down.

The Seconds turn to Minutes
and the minutes to hours
how I wish the time freezes
When the rains come down.

People get matured and turn old
people live and then die untold
If somehow I could be child again

When the rains come down.

When the Darkness crept In

I see darkness everywhere around me

Not a single ray of light

Not a Single person in sight

I feel numbness all around me

                                                                    Source: Google Images

The room's acting strange

There isn't any bed, window or a secret door

No way in, No way out

The room is silent, scary & dark..

I walk around and i reach nowhere

I run around I reach nowhere

is there none to exist

in this dark space of nothingness

Darkness holds me tight 

Like a lover holds his love

Darkness wraps me around

Like a blanket to keep me warm

Oh this Place is Silent

Just like a graveyard

Oh this place is silent

Even when I shout

Have I done something wrong

Did i make someone mad

Did I hurt Someone

Why did I deserve to be here

Will I ever see my friends again

Will I be able to say how much I love her

Will I be able to hug my pillow again

Will I ever watch those sunrise again

And then I hear her voice

There I felt her Foot Steps

But she want to avoid me
she doesn't even want to talk to me

I want to shout to call her back

To promise not to leave her forever

I don't want to be alone

I don't want to live without her

And then I hear my friends

They want to tell me something

They are slowly coming in nearby

Giving a signal to make me happy

I hear Shouting "Wake Up, Wake up"

But I ain't sleeping 

The world around me is collapsing

And I thought is the end near?

.

.

.

.

I see green leaves everywhere

The morning coffee tastes sweet

I see love, care and affection to realize

Reality is always sweeter than the dreams

And it Rained...

Sometimes all rain can bring to someone's mind is A vision of relationship you had, U might have or you currently have!! Sitting by the window seeing the rains falling down and I thought Something weird, something more of a question which is not yet answered and as the rains got harder the quest to find an answer to the question becomes more easier!! yes its true sometime simple things are enough to find answers to complex Questions....

And of late, this poetic bug in me has bite me hard!! So a poem dedicated to rain or a Rain which I dedicate to this poem...Any way which helps me sleep in Peace!

Like A rain
You are always waited
Your absence can kill me
Your Presence ignites me
Your effect has the power to destroy

Before It Rains
I eagerly await you
Just like those crops and the famine lands
And I knew you would wash away
Of all my tiredness & loneliness

When it Rains
Reminds me of those Hideouts
we look to stay away
And yet I Pray
That this rain never stops

After It rains
I know It ain't over
I will see you soon
You leave your mark
Like the smells of the ground

Colors---The Way of Life

Colors..... What beautiful way could be to describe one's life in Colors. A mixture of fun, excitement, denial, anger, Happiness, Sorrow! Like every painting has a meaning of its own why Cant we define a life through a splash of color. So what new am i doing here today. I just want to find out if i could just describe the way we live, the way we think, the way we exist through colors. So lets paint the canvas of this page with some rich color's and see the way we live with it.

                                                             Source: Google Images

RED:

For all things that hurt me
Every lame excuse that annoy me
For all times I screamed at you
For each roses I showered on you
For each Occasion that makes me Mad
For every Parting that makes me Sad
For every sound that followed after silence
For every time I bear her nuisance
For every Article that makes me think
for those Wonderful lips where i Sink

BLUE:

For those countless Monday Mornings blues
For those countless Clear Mornings blues
Like the gloaming eyes of a new born child say
You were like the feeling of spring in May
For those Magical Moments we had Together
For those Lovely evenings we spent together
Times when I go to beach on a lonely day
Thinking of Happy times we spent Every day
Every time I saw you going away from me
Every time I thought You were too good for me


BLACK:

Every time I saw theater's gone dark
Every time I see a person walking by
Every time I think of Papers getting Burnt
Every time I thought my heart's getting burnt
For the sunsets we watched together
For the days we missed being together
Every Night which promised Light Quickly
Every Farewell which Promised a meeting Quickly
Like the Tower in the Sky far from sight
U held my Hand forever and ever so Tight

PINK:

For the Color of your cheeks
For the Days of the weeks
For the Times we kissed
For the days we missed
For the days which were good
For every ground we stood
For the Splash of pink
For seeing her wink
For the love we had
For the Passion we had



There are at times when we feel ourselves closer to the creator (Not that I believe in him or I am an atheist). Emotions always accounts for a bigger perspective to make things easy for us. For every thing good there is an exact opposite entity created. For days there are nights, for Light there's dark, for happiness there is sorrow, for a matter there's an antimatter. So lets relish the wonderful moments and accept the negativity that comes our way in a positive way! Cheers to life, Cheers for the wonderful color's we have in our life

P.S: The poetry above is not a personification of my emotions ya feelings. Any resemblance of the above poem to me is purely fictional!

The "Beautiful" Brain

 And now my thoughts actually ponder on the source of all thoughts….”Brain”

 I clearly have to admit that there is certainly an advantage as well as a blessing to actually have a Brain which can remember the good ride we had on a holiday but not the “Please God help me find my car key aftermath”. This is very much the same as relationships. I mean we remember those great moments of intimacy love and passion with great ease while those sleepless nights on a bed with enough room to park a car is nothing but a dim memory. Also during exams we can easily remember that how good the exam would have gone but not those sleepless nights and those in numerous cups of coffee enough to make your room a cafe shop for a night.

Anyways my point is that the Brain has to be automatically designed to remember more leisure than pain. To cherish all good times we would have had and to actually dismiss the bad.  The brain actually is hard wired to push the organism towards more of pleasure and to get away from pain. In that way we can make ourselves happy and failures might be treated as just a lesson learnt to devoid us pain and make us happier.

The image above has nothing much to do with the context of writing but just sharing it to give each of us a second of humor and ease and yes!! I am a Simpson fan. Cheers!!!

Where's my Problem

125 days!!! I was looking in brief actually staring at this particular number 125. History has it that there is no significance of this particular number but as I would know it’s been 125 days since I last published any thought or any random topic which would have its inception ever since I want to write about it. 125 days where I would give some lame excuse to myself but today I've decided to be true to me, my inner self.

So enough with those little stats above there and Yes I am here back to my BlogSpot. Life has not been that good for the past 3 weeks now. The air is open and a Vacuum is created in the airspace over here which is slowly eating up everybody right now. These are hard times where you really ask questions that do God’s really exist or are they some mythical characters like The Superman. I went through some series of motions in between these 125 days which I would like to share on the blog as I consider this as my first blog.

Writing the story “The Journey” which by the way is finished and to handful some who still want to read a not so happy ending story I shall be pleased to mail you after a couple of weeks though as I still believe that being the creator of the story I can always change it as per my convenience. Anyways I built this character Chander in the story that always used to create problems to keep his life occupied. And this has really been my problem right now thinking that do all persons or at least the maximum of earthlings live in a world which is full of problems? Let’s go for a deeper roll now!!!

Image Source: Google

Sometimes I feel that deep within us is always a human who hates us for what we are. It hates us of what we’ve made of ourselves in this perpetual search of victory and success. In this time it is really difficult to live in a world devoid of problems.  In a near future if at all there is a world without any problems then at that particular time I would consider that to be my biggest problem. We create problems only to solve it at a later stage and those the cycle of life goes on! Waking up having breakfast create a problem solve it and then have dinner and sleep only to wake up again. This has become the life cycle of almost everybody (I assume I can generalize at this stage). So what is the solution to this problem of problems? It’s Simple, Death. No Man =No Problem.

At times I wonder how I land up in such silly stupid thoughts and yet I decide to write them. But it gives me ease within myself. A power to actually remind me that no matter what the solution I might come up to the li’l problems they are only the gateways to newer problems. To be frank I am not happy. And making these statements and thinking might make me realize is it my common problem or a general problem. How do I tackle it? Where can I get motivation to move ahead of time and create a general space where I can be happy and satisfied? But then the questions which might look simple require complex answers and deep after years I should be confidently able to read this blog again and rethink was I correct? and until then I shall live with whatever and wherever Life is taking me or asking me to do & I shall keep asking myself…”Where’s my problem???”   

The "Journey"----Part II

                                                    The Journey- 2

"The captain has turned on the fasten seat belt signs. please ensure all seat belts are fastened and all trays are secure in their upright position. We will be landing shortly so on behalf of Qatar, thank you for flying with us and we hope you enjoyed your flight"

The voice from the cabin crew coming over from the intercom was almost faint and yet robotic in speech. A faint buzz passed through my ears before the voice almost broke down and then stopped. This was almost a long journey flying around half the world finding pieces of my life still open. I almost fell sleep the last night when i begin remembering the bad memories which i had in my early childhood days. Yet i was reluctant to take up this journey. As its told a bad phase is always a god sign that there are good days ahead. the night is always dark before the dawn. and somehow I found myself related to this phase quite a few often. Not that my life was eminent of only bad goings it did have some good and positive things to look forward to. The body was almost numb after being seated for 7 hrs flight from Doha to London. The book I got the other night from the pavement was still in my bags and yet for this long hrs i didn't want to read this book.

The flight was rough with regular turbulence but the people were more interesting to me than the weather. Much to my luck of which bad luck had the largest count if it had, I got the middle seat. An overweight women was on my right who would use me as her pillow on almost the maximum duration of flight which i even willingly allowed her and to my left a grown well teen of around 17 with god knows why he was travelling alone on this full flight. While the descent announcements were made the young teen was courteous enough to offer me a half eaten pack of peanuts. When I shook my head he sniggered and stuffed a handful into his mouth chomping with bits tumbling from his mouth on his almost white shirt.

As my little bit of good luck would have it i was one of the first off the plane only to be the last to collect my luggage. A failed attempt of an Anger Management student would have found himself in the middle of yet another session but i tried to keep myself relaxed adjusting my Watch to a new time zone and keeping the track of the snow that was ahead of me when i was to go out of the airport. With all the procedures of the immigration and visa finishing i went out of the airport and signaled a Taxi to begin a new chapter of my life where there is a quest for finding solutions to some questions which were left unanswered. some people who never cared and some issues which needed to be resolved. I call this part of my life "The Journey"

The Journey

                                                The Journey

                                      PROLOGUE

Words of wisdom

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."

      When Chander came upon this piece of writing it struck a very deep chord within him. This was mainly attributed on his personal circumstances too. As Stephen Greenblatt had quoted “Art always penetrates the particular fissures in one’s physic life”. He just found out to be true. How strange that simple things which he books had to offer shows a lot of light on oneself. Today he would relish for the fact that he has survived 10000 days of existence in this wicked world. It would merely mean a number to others, but to him it meant 10000 days of struggle, pain and all complexities that life would have been better had he born a different person.         

      With just little hope he went to the central library today when he saw a book which just costed him 100 bucks. With such a rate he would certainly not buy a diamond but that would even not stop him from buying a book.  He would always consider books to be an open source of wisdom that preach some important lessons without paying much. 
      The night was just a regular night in his life where he would embark on a 10 min walk from his work place to home. Then it was followed by his regular dinner which included some shrimps and rice and would occasionally settle down for boiled potatoes too. However today he did have that book which he carried from the central library. Having finished his dinner he just embarked on a journey that the book had to offer him once he started reading it with the words of wisdom at the top.

                                                                CHAPTER 1

Cluttered in the protective arms of my mother was me where I could possibly behold all the happiness of my life. Well to be frank I never felt the warmth of the sun as enduring and caring as I felt being hugged in her arms. My memory would be faded as I was born but to the farthest corner of the world if I remember I could recall my innocence of the age when it came when I was around 2 yrs old. Those little memories I had had flown along with me since I grew in this miserable world.  A very diminishing image of my father had grown in me and I could recall him coming back to see me as soon as the clock would strike 5 PM. A little could I believe with both of my parents around me I would surely have been one happy Soul? Probably one last time where I could have been happy was on the second of March.

With all the little I heard from my momma was that my father was killed in the road accident. He would have been a careless person to just cross the roads while answering to an important phone call. The call surely did the most fateful thing that could have happened to the child. I was 2 yrs 08 months and 12 days old when suddenly my momma was left with the toughest responsibility she had to face in the coming future.

As a child I would often believe in fairy tales. Those stories which i grew up listening would somehow not fall in the correct place. I would listen to ma talking of an old rip van winkle that would sleep for as long as 20 yrs in some old days. How I wish i could have slept throughout those 20 yrs of my early days. Something I would have surely been happy of. But life teaches lessons of its own and sometimes the simple lessons of life would come from miseries and pain.
My mother on the other hand was not afraid of the afterlife. Of what is death after all? Where the soul leaves the weak body so that it doesn’t endure the suffering of a body. But all she was afraid of was the death which was imminent because of her lifelong of family sufferings which she have seen throughout her life. Her brother died of some cancer some decades ago, probably the time when the cure for the disease was not found and also the death of my father was before her. She would often hold me tight whenever I was to go away from her. Be it the school days where I where she would hold me tightly in her arms and would often talk about distinct possibility of not seeing her again or of those tiring long nights where she would often be awake ensuring i slept in peace which i thought was just to express her unconditional love. I would often be afraid to ask her of her actions which resulted in the beginning of unrest in my heart. But my curiosities of the questions were far less than the reality itself. I never thought that when the reality would strike this unrest would take the form of fear which would perhaps stay with me forever.